Why I'm Going to Tony Robbin's Date With Destiny

For a lot of you following my blog, you might think my life is pretty good and that I have it all figured out. But the truth is, I sometimes wake up feeling more lost than ever. I used to think my problem was that I didn't know what to do to achieve my goals, and aside from not having the knowledge, I was too broke to have options or actually do it even if I had found the solution. Like many others I would daydream about a life where I could travel the world, live off of passive income, become a millionaire, meet the girl of my dreams and sip on coconuts all day.

Then it happened. Sort of at least. I went from being overweight my entire life to finally finding a diet that actually worked and a fitness routine that I saw success from. I figured out how to make over $100,000 a year online, all while working from tropical beaches in Thailand where I would literally sip coconuts all day as it happened to be part of the diet. I met the love of my life, a beautiful girl who I'd then travel across the world with, scuba diving in Borneo, playing with cheetahs in South Africa, and walking around night markets in Taiwan with my parents then renting a villa in Thailand for us to all spend quality time together afterwards. It was all going so well, and I thought I had finally figured it all out. Life was incredible. Until it wasn't. Now it's been two years of life mostly going downhill since, and me feeling less adequate and poorer than ever. Here's what I hope to get from the event.

My Background:

Even when was a young kid, I never felt that I belonged or fit in. I never felt that I was good enough and always wished I were someone different or better. I always thought my life would be easier if I was taller, skinnier, female, caucasian, rich, or a host of other things that were holding me back. I was always chubby and back then, the only information I could find on health and fitness were from TV and magazines which gave me more issues as every issue or episode they would change their minds about what was healthy or not to eat. It wasn't until I physically went to a library and read a nutrition book that I had any base of knowledge, but even then, all it caused me to do as count calories, and favor whole wheat over white bread. But even if it wasn't the best information, at least it got me to start reading.

It wasn't until I read my first self help book in my mid twenties that I even knew we could change. Unfortunately that book was The Game, the NY Times's Best Seller about being a pick up artist. But at that time, I was so lonely and desperate to change or better my life and finally be happy, I jumped two feet first into the PUA community. I learned all of the so called tricks of attraction, came out of it more socially awkward than going in as now I was still just as bad with women, but also way more socially aware of being awkward. If you want to know more about all of the various stages that I went through in my life, you can read my blog, "Who is the Real Johnny" here. All of the various stages in my life taught me different lessons. but the best thing that came from my time in that world however was that I discovered the world of self help, which ultimately lead me to reading books like Rich Dad, Poor Dad, and the 4-Hour Workweek, the 4-Agreements, and listening to audiobooks from Tony Robbin's, which is what brought me here today.

The Decision:

For me, I decided to attend immediately after watching "I'm Not Your Guru." If you haven't seen it yet, pause this article and go watch it on Netflix now. It was amazing. It was because of the movie that I realized that if I don't go this year, and Tony retires or stops doing live events, that i'll regret for the rest of my life. Out of all of the life coaches in the world, he's the only one that I feel like may actually have the answers, and if not him, then I really need to figure it out on my own. That's the real reason why I'm going, because of Tony. He's truly 1 in 7.6 billion, and we're lucky to have him on this Earth and have him doing what he does.

Honestly, I think most life coaches are full of shit. I've met hundreds in Bali, and traveling the world I've met Personal Coaches, Relationship Coaches, NLP Practitioners, Health Coaches, Mental Health Coaches, and Performance Coaches and Business Coaches alike who have no business charging others money to guide them or give advice as they themselves often don't have their lives together and most have never been successful in their fields before teaching it to others.

But maybe I'm wrong? Maybe sometimes an outside voice is what we really need. Here's the thing. Coaches don't even necessarily have to be amazing in what they coach. Just like an NBA or NFL coach doesn't need to be great at basketball or football themselves, and a relationship coach doesn't need to be in the perfect one either. In fact, it's usually the people who were worst at a skill that are most intrigued about learning more about it to learn, grow and get better. Maybe that's where I am right now. In my book Life Changes Quick I show exactly what it took to go from being too broke to afford a plane ticket home and being stranded in Thailand to having $30,000 in the bank and a successful online business, as well as getting in the best shape of my life and finding the love of my life. The fact that 2 out of 3 of those things no longer exist (the relationship and my abs) doesn't mean that what I shared in the book doesn't work, maybe it was just the first stage of the process, or that it just means that I need to listen to my own damn advice, or maybe there's more for me to learn afterwards to sustain it or get to the next stage. Who knows.

2015 when life was seemingly perfect. 

My Life's Downfall

If you've been following the blog and my life online these past few years, you may have watched my bank account go up all while becoming more recognized, traveling the world, and doing amazing things. But what you don't see is that with the praise and attention also comes the negativity. I've had anonymous trolls go out of their way to try and ruin my reputation, businesses, and even relationships. It could have ruined me, but instead of letting it bring me down, I've always forced myself to find a way to use the negative attention to make more money or acquire new book or blog readers, podcast listeners, or youtube followers as I knew that as long as someone took enough time to actually read all of the content I write, they would discover the value I share. I've even went as far as transparently sharing my income reports every month and creating courses like Income Boss where I show my actual dashboards, traffic sources, and literally all of the secrets that most people hide.

But even though I was smart enough to use the hate and negative attention increase my income instead of letting it ruin it, I mainly did it because I knew that my success would be ultimate f-you to the haters. But here's the thing, even though guys like Grant Cardone and other online celebrities say they "love their haters, haters make them famous, or haters make them rich" and even though it's financially true, it's also toxic. I've been so focused on making money, that I completely let my health and fitness slip away. The worst thing is that now that I've built a network of high net-worth individuals, I've realized that money doesn't make you happy. I was the happiest i've ever been when I was making half what I make now and lived in my own little bubble of what I thought was important in life, being ignorant to most things. Today, I'm a lot wealthier, tried out an early retirement for half a year, and had the free time to truly discover the "secrets" behind most things in the world including fitness, health, money, relationships, the left, the right, religion, retirement, success...I realized that nothing is perfect and everything in the world has it's downsides. Everything. It's depressing knowing that no one really knows anything and that once we actually reach our goals, we still won't be happy or fulfilled, just as  becoming a millionaire doesn't make you feel rich, but instead it often does the opposite and makes you realize how little a million dollars actually buys.

My Goals for DWD:

I don't know what I want to get out of attending Date With Destiny. I know that I'm super fortunate to have the choice and opportunity to attend, and that even though $5,000 is a lot of money and that it's a pain in the ass for me to fly from the Canary Islands to Miami then back to Thailand for the Nomad Summit instead of going straight there, I also realize that these are blessings as well. If nothing else, maybe being at DWD and seeing how difficult others have it in life, it'll be put some perspective on my own and make me realize how fortunate I really am, and how just like our problems as teenagers seemed mountainous when we were young, we can later see how silly they all were.

So without asking for too much, here are my goals for Date with Destiny 2017:

1. To do what I already know is good for me prior to the event. (eating healthy, exercise, not stressing, etc)

2. To go to the event with a completely open mind, play, explore, and see where it takes me, who I meet, and what I learn without preconceived opinions.

3. To force myself to spend 7 days actually doing the things we all knew we should already do like writing down goals, etc. but normally put off.

4. Leave the event with either new answers on who I am, what I am supposed to do with my life, etc, or leave knowing that if even the big man and his team himself can't answer it for me, then it really is up to us as individuals to either figure it out, or just do what we already know we should and stop putting it off or having excuses.

Final Thoughts:

I don't know why I wrote this, or shared so much. Honestly, I've almost deleted it twice and didn't decide to publish it until today, just 2 weeks before the event even though I started writing it over a month ago. At the end of the day, I know that I'm not perfect, that I've made mistakes, but I also know what I'm a good guy with a big heart and genuine intentions. I know that I am in a unique situation to be able to do great things in this world, inspire others, and make a positive impact. At the same time, I often dream about living a nice quiet life in out in nature somewhere and completely shutting myself off from the online world one day. I don't have the answers and I don't know if Tony does either. But it's worth a shot. I'm either going to come out of this conference knowing exactly what to do, or I'm going to come out realizing that if even the Tony Robbin's, the big man himself doesn't have the answers, then it really is up to me to figure it out myself.

As I get older, I realize that we really do only have one shot in life and that it really is short. I don't want to mess this one up as we don't get another shot. Maybe I'm completely f$jking it all up by not going all in, and overthinking everything. Maybe I'll come back and write a detailed review about what I learned, what my goals and plans are for 2018 and the rest of my life, or maybe I'll come out of it and realize that life would be easier if I just kept everything to myself and didn't bother to try to help or change other people and just focus on myself. I'm curious what everyone else's reasons are for investing the time, money, and going to Date with Destiny and what you hope to get out of it if you're going this year in 2017 or planning to in the future. Either way, lets all try and learn and grow together as the only thing I know for sure is that this is the only shot we get at this life, so we might as well make the most of it.

December Update:

The Time Is Here! Just a few days away after this longgggg journey across the atlantic to date with destiny! But after interviewing Tony Tzaj on episode 182 of Travel Like a Boss, I realized that for every reason or excuse we have for not attending, there is someone like Tony who blows us out of the water!

Hope to see you there! Leave a comment below!

Warm Regards,

Johnny FD

Comment Below! I'd love to hear your thoughts!

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  1. Hey Johnny! You are going to LOVE DWD! My husband and I went together last year and it was truly life changing. Here are some tips for the event:

    1. The room will be freezing, Tony is great at getting everyone up to dance every 30 minutes or so but you'll want to dress in layers as if you were going to be out in the cold all day.
    2. Bring lots of healthy snacks and plenty of water. The days are long and meal options are limited. It's totally fine to bring a small backpack with snacks.
    3. Have an open mind, make new friends and do all of the activities.

    You're in for an amazing experience!

    1. Thanks for the tips! I'll be sure to bring tons of warm clothes as I hate freezing rooms! =)

      And i'll be sure to go with an open mind!

  2. I look forward to reading the review!

    Have you thought about doing anything like ayahuasca or something like the Hoffman Process to really get to the bottom of why you feel the way you do and/or resolving the issues?

    It sounds a bit like its more than just a lack of business direction that ails you. Maybe something more 'therapeutic' might help?

    Just a thought!

    Hope the diet and healthy eating is going well.

    1. Thanks Joe. If anything I should start with meditation first. =)

    2. Yeah, it really does seem to help. I do Headspace once every few days and it does seem to calm the thoughts.

  3. I'm a fellow participant going to this event. My husband attended years ago. I have confidence that you will be blessed from this.

    What follows next are my views:
    It sounds to me like you are adrift because while making money or even finding a life companion are worthy goals, these should not be mixed up with one's purpose.
    Ah, purpose. That's the rub. Why are you here on earth?
    Now. I'm going to tell you my purpose. Keep in mind that I am 51. It took decades to discover it. There were a lot of near hits which was close to my purpose without actually being my purpose. For example, writing is awesome.
    Oh, let me just say it. I'm called to ministry. Writing can be used in ministry but being an author is not the same thing as being fully present in someone's transformation and restoration. Ya get what I mean right?

    Just because I'm taking a few minutes here to connect does not mean I think you're somehow needing help. I'm just putting out my life perspective as an illustration.

    When I started serving others in the area of recovering from domestic violence, homelessness, brokenness of various kinds --it all clicked for me. It's not a natural high. It's just what I was designed to do. It doesn't wear me out or frustrate me unduly. Now I'm going to Date with Destiny because folks who struggle have normalized misery which is why they tend to repeat each new day the way they have done. Without understanding myself, without understanding the soul mechanisms we have in common, I will be stitching in the dark, sewing crooked seams.

    Service is a key element to happiness. (no surprise to you--people are like elevators.. some will take you up and some will take you down) I think service becomes a way we express our gratitude for being alive more than the worthiness of the person being served.. but hey, you'll have to sort out this along with the rest of humanity

    the jewish proverb is that no good deed goes unpunished.. and there's more than a nugget of truth there.

    Last thought.. I do believe in God.. in Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit. I saw on your blog that you had 'tried religion".. but relationship is different than religion. WIthout making further comment, just know this element is part of my life.

    1. I know what you mean about "near hits" on finding our purpose. There are a lot of things that might be my purpose like writing, podcasting, scuba diving, business, etc, but maybe my purpose is really to help rescue dogs. Who knows, maybe I'll find the answer at DWD.

  4. I was happily reading your blogpost, until I hit this paragraph

    Honestly, I think most life coaches are full of shit. I've met hundreds in Bali, and traveling the world I've met Personal Coaches, Relationship Coaches, NLP Practitioners, Health Coaches, Mental Health Coaches, and Performance Coaches and Business Coaches alike who have no business charging others money or even giving advice at all as they themselves don't have their lives together and most have never been successful in their fields before teaching it to others. #copypaste#

    The minute I read that I suspected that you've never hired and worked with an ICF certified coach and probably didn't bother to look up the definition of coaching to begin with.

    Did you know that coaches (unlike trainer, mentors, consultants, advisors and so on) actually do NOT give advice? And because coach is not a legally protected profession everybody can call themselves a coach, creating confusion?

    I know you'll be experiencing true coaching trough your group coach (or whatever name they give it there) at DWD. So, say "hi" to some of my teachers for me, while you're there.

    And it's my guess you'll be feeling like a dumb ass afterward DWD, when you read back that part of your blog post.
    So these are the questions I would like to invite you to take to DWD with you.

    Why do you feel to need to lash out to other people in so many of your blog posts?
    Why do you display "bully type of behaviour"?

    It's a pattern I've been noticing and once again I'm in the corner you feel a need to lash out to. Even if you consider yourself a good guy, I'm done with this type of behaviour.

    I know two things:

    One: Tony doesn't have your answers, you do.
    And coaches help people find their own answers and help them move forward in executing their action steps towards their bigger purposes.
    And by making comments like that you're holding people back from growing, because now "Johnny said" that most life coaches are full of bullshit.How is that helping the world forward?

    I don't know who you've been hanging out with, but I have been coached and met up with a big amount of awesome coaches.

    Two: A better version of you will emerge from DWD.
    And hopefully you'll then share your experiences and retract some of the opionions you've been making lately.

    Because I'm fed up with these unfounded personal opions that are damaging to people or in this case their professions.

    It would have been different had you shared your experience from working with ICF certified coaches and then stated your opinion it wasn't worth your money or time.

    Have a good DWD. But dont expect me to show up at the Summit in January. Your words and actions don't match up, yet again.

    Wishing you all the best.

  5. Johnnyfd....there is a guy in living in Thailand who was on Tony Robbins security team for a long time..he used to live in Chaing Mai.he is in Cha Am now...he runs a Thai centric website...I think he would be a great resource for you...If u would like, I'll direct you to him.

    1. Hey David, thanks for the offer, maybe when I get back to CM after the event it'll be good to meet him. =)

  6. That's deep dude. I've heard of you since you were Johnny Wolf, and I remember buying your kindle book because I wanted to visit Thailand. (That trip hasn't happened yet).

    Overall, I think you do a great service for your blog followers. I've learned a lot just reading through your blog and listening to your podcasts.

    It actually surprises me that you post this. I imagined you had it all figured out. But it's also pretty cool to know that you're still on your journey to self discovery.

    I'm excited to see how much you'll evolve 5 years from now. I can see you're really driven for success and I also see that you're a genuine guy. The effort you put into your writing really shows your thoughts and emotions.

    I look forward to speaking to you in person at the 2018 Nomad Summit. Take care Johnny.

    1. Hey Rocky, wow thanks for following the journey for all of these years! Sometimes I honestly don't want to post discovery posts like as it would be easier for me just to work on everything myself then post the final result, but I think a lot of people also benefit from seeing we're all still learning and growing still.

      I look forward to meeting you at the Nomad Summit as well Rocky! Make sure you introduce yourself when you come! I'm sure you're going to love Thailand.

  7. Wow! Thanks for opening up and it shows that you are such a courageous person.I believe you are not alone in feeling lost even when things look great on the outside. I have certainly not found my purpose even as a doctor. Keep giving others hope by sharing your journey...please ��

    1. Thank you as well for sharing yours! It must be difficult to be a doctor in this day and age, especially in the U.S.!

  8. I've been following your blog and reading some of your previous posts of late. Thanks for sharing your ups and downs and for introducing Anton Kraly. Hope you found what you were looking for in Date With Destiny. Hugz..
    PS:Nice quote from Marianne Williamson there :)

  9. I am so happy to read this. This is the kind of manual that needs to be given and not the random misinformation that’s at the other blogs.
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  10. thank you for sharing information, i like your blog


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