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10 People I Avoid: Traits of the Unwanted

When i dislike someone, it's hard for me to hide it. It shows all over my face, my mannerisms, and even my mood. I just can't help it, and honestly, I don't know if I want to.  We've all heard that we are the average of the 5 people we hang around with and since I know how easily swayed my mood is when I hang out with negative people, I try to avoid them at all costs.

Here are traits of people I try to avoid.





1. Complainers


One of my favorite things about living in Chiang Mai is that normal conversions don't include complaining about traffic, your boss, how much you hate your job or what is happening in politics.

I understand why people complain, they feel like they are stuck in a situation and want to feel empathy from others. But I don't want to hear it.


2.  Victim Mentality


Everyone's always out to get you. Your life is more fucked up than other people, you have unique circumstances. You've been through more than others. No one else understands where you've came from. The man is holding you down. It's working now but it's going to get taken away. Bad things always  happen to you. You're a target because xyz.  If you agree with any of this, you're probably right, and I don't want to be around you.


3. Inconsiderate People


This instantly tells me I don't want anything to do with a person. There's always one or two guys at the coworking space which will have bad hygiene and smell terrible because they didn't bother to shower after the gym, or people who will smoke right in front of the entrance forcing you to go around them and breathe in their second hand smoke. Or people who will use your stuff without asking, then leave the container open afterwards.

Then there are people who leave cables running across the middle of the floor so you have to step over it or risk tripping and breaking their laptop. Or the guy would do all of the above as well as leaves his backpack in the middle of the walkway forcing everyone to have to walk over it.

I also don't like people who are late, don't show or or cancel at the last minute. 


4. Unappreciative People


I am extremely generous and giving especially with my time. But when people don't show their appreciation, even with a genuine thank you, they never get my help or generosity again. 


5. People Who Ask for Advice but don't Act


If you're going to ask for advice, and I give you extremely well thought out advice, just do it. Don't come back and ask me 10 more questions before you do the first. 


6. Delusional Confidence and Entitlement  


I firmly believe that confidence is earned. Yet there are always people out there that try to be an expert on things they've never done themselves, or feel entitled to things going their way for no earned reason.

Other delusional people are ones that take it too far. If you do a lot of acid or can't/won't fit into the basics of society I don't want to be around you. If you're a guy who looks homeless, or doesn't cut your fingernails, or if you're a girl who refuses to shave your legs, I don't want to be around you. 

Online this would include people who feel entitled or superior to give their opinion or expose other's weaknesses even though they themselves have never done it. Examples would be a Yelp Reviewer who thinks they are a NY Times Food Critic, or a NY TImes Food Critic that thinks they are a chef. Or people who have zero videos on Youtube yet leave negative comments on your channel. 

7. Cheap People


I am frugal and love not spending money, living cheaply and saving money. I also like getting good deals.  However, I can't stand people who are cheap and try to get away with things because they feel entitled. If you're the type of person to sneak into the coworking space after hours just so you don't have to pay, or if you go there just to use the printer and then don't even put money into the honesty box, I don't want to associate myself with you.  


8. Pessimistic Mentality + Scarcity Mentality 


If you always look for the bad, negative or downside without first looking at the upside, I don't want to be around you. 

Or if you think just because one person is doing well that it means it somehow takes away from you doing well. I really try hard to keep an abundance mentality but those with the opposite make it hard so I try to avoid them.  


9. Lazy People


Comfort has made people lazy. It's easy to sit around, watch TV and eat junk food. If you're a deadbeat I don't want to spend my time or energy hanging out with you.


10. Negative People


This last one just sums up all of the above as well as people who are constantly unhappy and don't do anything about it. Depression is real, and if you are trying to cope with it, I'm there for you and support you. But if you are just negative or have given up trying to improve your life, stay away from me. 




Personal Note


This is a really hard post for me to write, and I thought about deleting it a few times halfway through. I'm not perfect and sometimes have bad days, or negative thoughts myself but I really try to keep that as a minimum and try to be positive as much as possible.

I've struggled myself, been through ups and downs in life, and wasn't always successful or a hard worker. I understand, but that doesn't mean I want to surround myself with you if you're trying to pull down the other crabs in the barrel.

I feel like I'm one of the crabs that finally got out and definitely don't want to ever get pulled back in. I even try to throw lifelines into the barrel as much as possible by openly sharing how I got out of it, and what I'm up to now so I can try to get to an even higher level.

If you feel like you've struggled or have reasons why you aren't successful, or think you have it harder than others. Watch this video, it has been my favorite episode from Grant Cardone as he opens up and talks about turning the liabilities from your childhood and life into assets.



I really hope that I don't come across as too big of an unsympathetic asshole in this post, and I know that I am far from perfect myself but these are things I've always wanted to get off of my chest.  
I know a lot of people are just on different journeys or in different parts of your life, but and I know a lot of you aren't bad people. 
I just can't be surrounded by your negative energy as I know how much it affects me.  If you need to go on an ayahuasca retreat to go find yourself, it's not a bad thing, you're just in a different place in your journey than I am which is why I avoid you.

If it seems like I am cold to you, while warm to others, the reason is 100% because of one or more of the reasons above. 

Here's an example of the type of people I brush off:


When I'm short with you, it's probably because you're asking the wrong questions and I know you're wasting both your own as well as my time. 
The links or blog posts I send these type of people may seem like a brush off but it's actually exactly what they need at that moment. 

This person could have responded:

"Hey Johnny, I read the article you send me about the value of hard work and the type of personalities that are successful and I realized I used to feel entitled for no good reason.
Now I realize nothing in life comes for free and I need to work at it, can you help point me in the right direction so I can make enough money where everything I buy on Amazon starts feeling like it's free anyways?"
But he didn't, so he's probably going to be broke for the rest of his life, and think I'm an asshole for not helping him, when in fact I actually gave him exactly what he needed to succeed. 
The end. 
Kind Regards,
Johnny

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Post a Comment

  1. Hi Johnny
    I like the term "abundance mentality", I might use that my self.
    Not everyone who drops a lot of Acid is out of touch with reality, Steve Jobs dropped *a lot* of Acid, but I know the type you mean
    Matt

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Matt- I love the term abundance mentality as well! You're 100% correct about what I meant to say about being too far out of touch with reality.

      Delete
  2. Amazing Post Johnny...one of my favorites:) Also reminds me to never ever be one of those people...

    ReplyDelete
  3. I can agree with this list 100%. As I was reading it, I couldn't help but think that it's also a very generalized description of Americans... I happen to be one, but try my best not to exude these qualities. I suppose they can be found everywhere though.

    Anyway, I'm about 8 months away from traveling to Thailand for an indefinite period, and your blog and podcast have been great resources as I consider and plan this relocation.

    Thanks Johnny (Nice name)!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Johnny FIT, great name. Funny that at first glance your avatar looks like a white version of me with my shaved head =)

      Glad you enjoyed the post and that you are making the move out to Thailand! Let me know when you make it out here.

      Delete
  4. Just started listening to your podcast and plan to sign up for Anton's course this week. I like how frank and sincere you are, Johnny. It is part of both your and Anton's appeal!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey thanks, I'm glad you've been enjoying the podcast and look forward to seeing you in the course! Make sure you introduce yourself in my progress thread in the member forums once you get access to it.

      Delete
  5. No, you are not an as*hole. You are just speaking the truth. The human is very easy to influence others. I do not blame on you for that. Thank you for sharing. I enjoy reading your blog. How about avoid friends or family who asked you for money? (They never pay me back).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey thanks e-Three, I'm glad you've been enjoying the blog. I've made it a hard and fast rule never to loan friends or family money as it destroys relationships.

      Delete
    2. You're welcome. You are 100% correct. It does destroys relationships if I load to the people.

      Delete
  6. Hi Johnny,

    I've been following you for a little while now and love what your doing. I think you have a great outlook on life and are an inspiration to so many.

    Normally I'm not one to comment but after reading through your blog post above I found the one statement regarding "stoners" to be very stereotypical. I know that the meaning behind the word can mean different things to different people, I just think its a strong statement to make that "stoners" are lazy people.

    I agree with everything else in you blog post, it was just strange to find such a negative statement right above your paragraph regarding negative people.

    You seem like a guy with an open mind and I don't think you meant to offend anyone. I just don't think you should group all "stoners" as lazy people and completely write them off, as your statement makes it seem.

    Just wanted to share my views and opinion.

    Keep up the great work and thanks for sharing your experiences.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Really glad to hear from you =) By stoner I don't mean people who smoke weed after a long day of crushing it to relax. Guys like Joe Rogan smoke a lot of weed but aren't at all lazy.

      I'll update the post to clarify =)

      Delete
    2. I figured as much ;) Your new statement is much more clear lol

      Keep up the great work, maybe I'll see you in Thailand one day!

      Delete

Please take a second to log in before you comment. I've turned off the anonymous commenting option. I'm open and respectful with you, please be the same back. Stay positive, trolls and spam comments will be automatically deleted.

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